Why is Change So Hard? The Fire Alarm We Keep Ignoring

What I’ve learned from sitting with others and talking about feelings is that although humans seek to change things in their lives that aren’t working, there are often parts of us that wish to remain the same.

It’s like hearing a fire alarm go off in a building, the blaring sound reverberating through the various rooms, but we dilly-dally. We look for signs of smoke, watch what other people in the building are doing, and wait to hear that it’s a false alarm and things can go back to normal.

Researchers have confirmed this: even in emergencies, people don’t always act immediately. Instead, we often look for more evidence to justify staying or going.

What holds us back from change in the same way?

When I sit with others and they tell me their stories, I can’t help but notice common threads of humanity. We want things to change the way we’d like them to, without ever leaving the building.